We national museums are richer than ever, but the arts council has cut money for the little museums and arts centres, and then organised a conference, State of the Arts, to help them get over it. Clever old ACE! I didn’t go, of course, but I watched it live on the web.
Kirsty Wark hosted the event. She wore a fairy costume, and the audience were all dressed as pixies. “Boys and girls,” she said, “remember what I said. We have left Mr Grumpy in the car park. If you are bad, you will go straight out to join him, and I won’t get my £5,000 fee.”
“Now,” she went on, “close your eyes and pretend there are no cuts, and I’ll have someone very special for you”. Ed Vaizey walked on, dressed as Mr Punch.
“’Ello, goys and girls!” he said. “If you’re from Sheffield, come on stage!” A man climbed onto the platform. Ed beat him repeatedly over the head with a stick, shouting, “That’s the way to do it!”
“That’s enough, Ed,” said Kirsty. “Won’t you tell the children a nice story? They are being very well behaved.”
“All right,” said Ed. “George told me last week there’s a pot of gold for the arts at the end of the rainbow.”
“That’s wonderful and profound!” said Kirsty, fluttering her wings in appreciation. Suddenly an elderly man with blazing eyes, followed by five grotesque giants, burst through the auditorium door.
“You are no storyteller, Ed,” he said. “These giants – Squalor, Ignorance, Want, Idleness and Disease – are the truths you will not face. Return to your true form!” And with a wave of his wand he turned Ed into a gerbil.
Apparently this clip is a huge hit on the internet.
Kirsty Wark hosted the event. She wore a fairy costume, and the audience were all dressed as pixies. “Boys and girls,” she said, “remember what I said. We have left Mr Grumpy in the car park. If you are bad, you will go straight out to join him, and I won’t get my £5,000 fee.”
“Now,” she went on, “close your eyes and pretend there are no cuts, and I’ll have someone very special for you”. Ed Vaizey walked on, dressed as Mr Punch.
“’Ello, goys and girls!” he said. “If you’re from Sheffield, come on stage!” A man climbed onto the platform. Ed beat him repeatedly over the head with a stick, shouting, “That’s the way to do it!”
“That’s enough, Ed,” said Kirsty. “Won’t you tell the children a nice story? They are being very well behaved.”
“All right,” said Ed. “George told me last week there’s a pot of gold for the arts at the end of the rainbow.”
“That’s wonderful and profound!” said Kirsty, fluttering her wings in appreciation. Suddenly an elderly man with blazing eyes, followed by five grotesque giants, burst through the auditorium door.
“You are no storyteller, Ed,” he said. “These giants – Squalor, Ignorance, Want, Idleness and Disease – are the truths you will not face. Return to your true form!” And with a wave of his wand he turned Ed into a gerbil.
Apparently this clip is a huge hit on the internet.
