It’s been a funny old week. On Monday I started work as the first director of the new National Museum of British History. For now our offices are in an abandoned wing of the Science Museum.
Once again it has no director: I suspect the old ones are walled up in secret dungeons, still alive and being fed on scraps. Soon enough they will be joined by the latest recruit.
Things are a bit quiet so far. I have no collection, no location and no staff, except a PA, Maureen, who used to work here for the Museums, Libraries and Archives Council before they moved out.
Last week I had a call from Bullingdon, the minister’s special adviser. He wanted to talk to me about the new board. “We were thinking of Lord Sugar, Sir Fred Goodwin, Bamber Gascoigne, Niall Ferguson…”
I stopped him there. “Go no further,” I said, “That’s not a board of trustees, it’s a freak show. I can imagine the meetings, Bamber will give me a starter for ten and then Sugar will tell me I’m fired!”
“And for god’s sake,” I added, “why the Harvard Heartthrob?”
I could tell Bullingdon wasn’t happy. “History,” he replied tersely. “If Ferguson’s good enough to revise the national curriculum, he’s good enough for your board.”
The following Sunday I got a shock.
A friend rang to ask if I’d seen the Mail. I dashed out to get a copy and there on page five was the headline: “Museum director in expenses scandal.” And it named me!
On Monday I went to the department. “It’s lies!” I said to Bullingdon. “Everyone knows I haven’t had the chance to claim any expenses yet!”
He looked sympathetic. “Can’t imagine where it came from. By the way, have you thought anymore about the board?”
Illustration: Paul Bommer/Higginsonhurst
Once again it has no director: I suspect the old ones are walled up in secret dungeons, still alive and being fed on scraps. Soon enough they will be joined by the latest recruit.
Things are a bit quiet so far. I have no collection, no location and no staff, except a PA, Maureen, who used to work here for the Museums, Libraries and Archives Council before they moved out.
Last week I had a call from Bullingdon, the minister’s special adviser. He wanted to talk to me about the new board. “We were thinking of Lord Sugar, Sir Fred Goodwin, Bamber Gascoigne, Niall Ferguson…”
I stopped him there. “Go no further,” I said, “That’s not a board of trustees, it’s a freak show. I can imagine the meetings, Bamber will give me a starter for ten and then Sugar will tell me I’m fired!”
“And for god’s sake,” I added, “why the Harvard Heartthrob?”
I could tell Bullingdon wasn’t happy. “History,” he replied tersely. “If Ferguson’s good enough to revise the national curriculum, he’s good enough for your board.”
The following Sunday I got a shock.
A friend rang to ask if I’d seen the Mail. I dashed out to get a copy and there on page five was the headline: “Museum director in expenses scandal.” And it named me!
On Monday I went to the department. “It’s lies!” I said to Bullingdon. “Everyone knows I haven’t had the chance to claim any expenses yet!”
He looked sympathetic. “Can’t imagine where it came from. By the way, have you thought anymore about the board?”
Illustration: Paul Bommer/Higginsonhurst
