Yes, at last, it’s returning to a radio near you – A History of the Museum in 10 Objects.
1. Scuffed Perspex collecting box c.1985, contents one €5 note, one £1 note, two Coke bottle tops, one 50p. Label: “Please give generously to keep this museum free. Suggested donation five pounds a head.”
2. Scuffed Perspex case holding an animatronic dog with begging bowl, c.1969. Label 1: “Dob in a bob and hear me bark for joy!” Label 2: “Sorry I’ve lost my growl, back soon, arf!”
3. Glass and steel case, holding battered pair of leather and rusted-iron skates. Label: “Object of the month – see what fun our grandparents had in weather just like this! Why not draw us a picture of your granny on skates and win a cool museum keyring!”
4. Prefab lavatory block, c.1975. Label: “Please excuse our appearance, these facilities are temporary.”
5. The Mr and Mrs M J B Quickbuck Cafe and Hands-on Exploratorium. Label: “Please excuse the temporary closure of this visitor amenity, this is due to preparations for a private function tonight – hot drinks and a range of delicious snacks are available from vending machine.”
6. Vending machine, c.1985. Contents 2x sausage rolls, 2x Snickers, 1 can mango juice. Graffito, black felt tip: “Don’t bother, broke.”
7. Case, contents snot-green hessian-covered board. Label: “Objects removed for conservation.”
8. Case, contents snot-green hessian-covered board, heavily corroded lumpy piece of metal. Label: “This mystery object was excavated during the construction of the Mr and Mrs M J B Quickbuck Cafe and Hands-On Exploratorium – it’s certainly foxed our curators, what do you think it is? It’s a mystery!”
9. Case, contents orange-covered hessian board. Label: “Objects on loan to touring exhibition These Treasures Belong To You.”
10. Poster, slightly foxed, one corner unsecured, c.1992, text: “We hope you enjoyed your visit, please come again – it’s not just history, it’s happening!” Graffito, red felt tip: “Les waxworks sont beaucoup plus fun.”
1. Scuffed Perspex collecting box c.1985, contents one €5 note, one £1 note, two Coke bottle tops, one 50p. Label: “Please give generously to keep this museum free. Suggested donation five pounds a head.”
2. Scuffed Perspex case holding an animatronic dog with begging bowl, c.1969. Label 1: “Dob in a bob and hear me bark for joy!” Label 2: “Sorry I’ve lost my growl, back soon, arf!”
3. Glass and steel case, holding battered pair of leather and rusted-iron skates. Label: “Object of the month – see what fun our grandparents had in weather just like this! Why not draw us a picture of your granny on skates and win a cool museum keyring!”
4. Prefab lavatory block, c.1975. Label: “Please excuse our appearance, these facilities are temporary.”
5. The Mr and Mrs M J B Quickbuck Cafe and Hands-on Exploratorium. Label: “Please excuse the temporary closure of this visitor amenity, this is due to preparations for a private function tonight – hot drinks and a range of delicious snacks are available from vending machine.”
6. Vending machine, c.1985. Contents 2x sausage rolls, 2x Snickers, 1 can mango juice. Graffito, black felt tip: “Don’t bother, broke.”
7. Case, contents snot-green hessian-covered board. Label: “Objects removed for conservation.”
8. Case, contents snot-green hessian-covered board, heavily corroded lumpy piece of metal. Label: “This mystery object was excavated during the construction of the Mr and Mrs M J B Quickbuck Cafe and Hands-On Exploratorium – it’s certainly foxed our curators, what do you think it is? It’s a mystery!”
9. Case, contents orange-covered hessian board. Label: “Objects on loan to touring exhibition These Treasures Belong To You.”
10. Poster, slightly foxed, one corner unsecured, c.1992, text: “We hope you enjoyed your visit, please come again – it’s not just history, it’s happening!” Graffito, red felt tip: “Les waxworks sont beaucoup plus fun.”
