The insider - Museums Association

The insider

Silence please: costcutting in progress
Maev Kennedy
Please read the question carefully, and use a black or blue pen. Write on one side of the paper only. Use a separate sheet to illustrate your working method.

You may not confer, but candidates may be assured this would not in any case help in the slightest. You may use a calculator (much good it will do you).

Question: From a museum (A), from which 10 per cent has already been cut (B), and a structural prop withdrawn in the form of major sponsor (C), calculate the removal of a further 40 per cent in such a manner as to be invisible from visitor viewpoint (D) and to conceal (B) and (C).

Answer: Cancel cleaning contract, introduce bonus-boosting voluntary curator-janitor scheme? Map sightlines from visitor entrance point D – how far need we clean? If half of light bulbs removed, how far then?

Announce major collection expansion, start date for Babylonian Ziggurat extension, issue press release and install much bigger notices thanking C for invaluable support: complies with B and D and could shame C into funding rethink?

Sell Tudor herb garden for Yo-BigSociety six-months-occupation-or-less council housing? Will leylandii screen grow fast enough to work from D? Sell east wing for apartment block conversion for ex Yo-BigSociety tenants moving into private sector?

Retain all internal signage for Tudor herb garden and east wing so confusing visitors who try to follow them so they will assume they’ve got lost. Worked well with B and the Egyptian gallery last spring.

Move Arnold E Peabody fossil earwig and seaweed collection from east wing to central hall: announce major exhibition Treasures of Land and Sea New Acquisitions (which they will be to central hall).

Commission notices for front gate, main door and side entrance: “We apologise for emergency closure today, this is due to a security alert, we look forward to welcoming you – especially C – to our new galleries and Ziggurat extension again very soon.”

Notices must be robust enough to stand up to use three days a week, and for several years???

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